I Can't Tell You What You Need to Hear
by Ialwaysshipthedoomedones
Summary: "Just don't mess this one up eh Peter" She smiles again, holding Peter's gaze for a few seconds before opening the door with a click and descending the stairs.


_Drinking our cheap bottles of wine, sit talking up all night, saying things we haven't for a while, a while yeah. We're smiling but we're close to tears even after all these years. - The Script_

She hadn't meant to find herself here, it just kind of happened. The knowledge that the current occupants were away left her safe in believing she was free to explore and the key seemed to burn a hole in her pocket as soon as she remembered it's existence.

She thought she would slip back in, as if her presence was never absent but she had been miserably wrong. It felt alien, pieces of another woman's clothing were flung around the painfully familiar rooms. Her toothbrush no longer sat next to his in the bathroom, replaced with another just as she herself had been.

The place even smelt different. Peter's smell still lingered along with Simon's but hers was distinctively missing. Over powered by another scent, stronger in so many ways. She had been tempted to make herself a drink but it felt like an invasion, like playing mum to a confused young boy had done all those years before.

Her photos were missing, tucked away in a draw somewhere, hidden from sight. Replaced with new, up to date ones. New photos for new memories which she would be present in. The ones of the offending culprits didn't sting quite as much as the ones of her best friend, ex best friend. She still has to correct herself of this fact at times. Her ex best friend and her son.

She stared at one in particular, trying to convince herself that Simon looked unhappy, that his smile was forced but the more she focused the more happy he looked. Contented.

The young boy was pulling a stupid face at the person behind the camera. Leanne assumed this to be one of his grandparents or another close friend. Carla had her arm draped around Simon's shoulder, stood slightly behind him. Her face is turned to an angle, looking at him, her head thrown back as she laughed as Simon's silly expression. Peter stood to the side of them, his arm wrapped around his partner's waist, a smile adorning his face as he placed a kiss to the laughing woman's temple.

Leanne desperately wanted to find a fault with her, accuse her of not accepting the young boy, trying to separate him from his father or fob him off with whoever would take him but the problem was this was obviously not true. The love in Carla's eyes was reflected back at Simon, who had clearly found a special place in her heart. Someone who had always seemed so un-maternal.

Leanne felt her heart break all over again, just like it had done over 10 months ago in the courtroom. She turned to leave, unable to face another moment in a place that held a thousand ghosts of a thousand memories but as she did the door clicked open, leaving her face to face with Peter.

"Peter?"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come, I just, I don't know, I wasn't thinking" Leanne hurried to the door, wiping the tears that had already started to fall. Just as she opened the door, she felt a soft grip on her arm, pulling her back to face him"

"Sit down, I'll make us a brew"

Peter made them both drinks while Leanne sat down on the sofa, an awkward atmosphere flooding the room. "Here" With a soft smile he passed Leanne the tea, who smiled in response, now nursing the warm mug in her hands.

"So how's Simon?"

"He's fine yeah, he's looking forward to seeing you"

"I've missed him" Leanne smiles fondly as she thinks of the young boy she still had a close bond with.

Neither of them spoke for a while, Leanne watches on as Peter flips out his phone and smiles widely at a text message he had received, she assumed the sender to be Carla. "How's it going between you two then?" She nods her head towards the phone, indicating she knows who he is talking to.

She instantly notes how his eyes light up slightly at the mention of her, her heart sinks slightly as she wonders if she ever had that effect on him. He doesn't reply to her, instead looking at her with his warm brown eyes, the same ones she fell in love with all those years before. "We never meant to hurt you Lea"

When their eyes meet she sees how genuine he is and she almost drops to her knees and begs him for another chance but she stops herself, wanting to keep a least a shred of her dignity.

"Did you ever love me Peter?"

"Of course I loved you Lea, I wouldn't ever have been with you if I hadn't"

"But you loved Carla more"

"We didn't mean to hurt you, we just fell in love Lea"

A silence fell over the pair of them as neither of them knew what to say next, not wanting to break the almost friendship that had been rebuilt between them. It was Peter that broke the silence this time, looking at Leanne with a tentative look across his face. "Do you regret the time we spent together? He asks, knowing that he himself doesn't. He may not be in love with his ex wife any longer but he does still care deeply about her.

She takes her time before answering, thinking over her words carefully before coming up with a suitable answer.

"Not a second of it" They share a smile, one that means more than either of them could say.

"We had some good times didn't we" Comes Peter's reply moments later, reminiscing over his most recent failed marriage.

"Yeah, yeah we did"

Peter and Leanne stay talking for hours more, laughing and thinking back over past memories. Simon and Carla both staying away for the night, Simon with Ken and Carla with Michelle. Leanne could see deep in his eyes that she didn't stand a chance of getting back into his affections but she isn't sure she is too upset about this. The friendship and bond they once used to share is on it's way to being restored and she feels as though a piece of herself has been replaced.

Hours after she arrived Leanne stands to leave the flat, her old home. Hoping that maybe she will return one day, not as the owner but as a guest. They share a hug. More than a friendly one but less than a lovers. They hold each other for a while, acknowledging the times they spent together and Peter whispers how grateful he is to her and that he feels he owes her his life. Leanne shrugs it off with a smile and as she turns to leave, she has one more thing to say.

"Just don't mess this one up eh Peter" She smiles again, holding Peter's gaze for a few seconds before opening the door with a click and descending the stairs.


End file.
